首页 > 

jilibet try out

2025-01-25
Whenever I pull a prank, which generally involves my grandchildren, whose maturity level is way above mine, I think outside the box. Whenever I pull a prank, which generally involves my grandchildren, whose maturity level is way above mine, I think outside the box. This is a wise strategy because I can’t fit inside the box. And even if I could, the air supply to my brain would be cut off and I’d be even more immature, which admittedly would make me a better prankster. Still, I proved to be a pretty good one when I pulled a birthday prank on my wife, Sue, with a box I didn’t have to think outside of. That’s because I got inspiration from the best prankster I have ever known: my longtime buddy Tim Lovelette. Sue, Tim and I were members of the notorious class of 1975 at Saint Michael’s College in Vermont, where our shenanigans were even crazier than those in the 1978 frat-house comedy “National Lampoon’s Animal House.” Maybe we should sue for theft of intellectual property. Anyway, while Sue was an innocent bystander and I engaged in silly but mostly harmless pursuits that seldom involved actual schoolwork, Tim set the standard because his pranks not only were pulled on a daily basis, but sometimes involved live snakes. When Sue and I recently met up with Tim and his wife, Jane, whom we hadn’t seen in a long time, Tim excitedly told me about Prank-O, a company specializing in gift boxes for products that don’t exist. That’s why, like my head, the boxes are empty. “It’s American ingenuity at its finest,” Tim assured me. “You have to look into this.” I called Prank-O, which is headquartered in Minnesota, though not in a big-box store, and spoke with head honcho Ryan Walther. “I thought I had it made because I’m paid to write stuff that has no redeeming social value,” I told him. “But you pull pranks for a living. It sounds like a dream job.” “That’s why I do what I do,” said Ryan, who was one of the original partners in The Onion, the satirical news outlet that lives up to its name by making readers cry with laughter. “It has served me well in life.” His life as a prankster began as a kid, when he discovered the brilliance of the Pet Rock, a collectible toy made in 1975 by advertising executive Gary Dahl, who put small rocks inside cardboard boxes with air holes (for breathing, of course) and sold more than a million of them. “That guy was one of my heroes,” said Ryan, who went on to co-found Prank-O in 2009, when he and his business partner, Arik Nordby, fulfilled their dream of injecting laughter into the solemn ritual of gift-giving. Now 50, with a wife and four kids who are “bewildered” at what he does and parents who are “proud that their son is an empty-box baron,” Ryan has grown up (sort of) to run a company (pranko.com) whose amazing products include the Squirrel Hot Tub, the Noggin Net and the Dream Griddle. There’s also Roto Wipe (“Say goodbye to costly toilet-paper costs!”) and the Pasta Recycler (“Make used pasta almost like new again!”). “These products don’t actually exist?” I asked. “That’s right. We sell empty boxes for $8.99 each,” said Ryan, who went on “Shark Tank” in 2018 and got businessman and show judge Mark Cuban to offer $640,000 for a share in the company, although the deal fell through. “But you did prank him,” I pointed out. “Yes. The world needs laughter and we’re here to help,” said Ryan, adding that gift-givers can put real gifts in the empty boxes. One of his favorites is the Pasta Recycler, which I got for Sue as a birthday present. “What’s this?” she wondered after she unwrapped the box, which I filled with uncooked spaghetti because her real gift, a raincoat (isn’t it romantic?), wouldn’t fit. “My gift to you,” I cooed. “Happy birthday!” “Is this a prank?” Sue asked. “Yes!” I answered proudly. “Here’s another one,” she said. “We’re having pasta for dinner. And you can make it.” Jerry Zezima writes a humor column for Tribune News Service and is the author of seven books. His latest is “The Good Humor Man: Tales of Life, Laughter and, for Dessert, Ice Cream.” Reach him at [email protected] or via jerryzezima.blogspot.com .jilibet try out

DAMASCUS, Syria (AP) — Russian state news agencies are reporting that ousted Syrian President Bashar Assad has arrived in Moscow with his family and given asylum. The agencies, Tass and RIA, cited an unidentified Kremlin source. The Associated Press was not immediately able to verify the reports but has contacted the Kremlin for comment. RIA also cited an anonymous Kremlin source that Moscow had received guarantees from Syrian insurgents of the security of Russian military bases and diplomatic posts in Syria. The report did not give further details. Assad reportedly left Syria early Sunday. Syrians have been pouring into streets echoing with celebratory gunfire after a stunning rebel advance reached the capital, ending the Assad family’s 50 years of iron rule . THIS IS A BREAKING NEWS UPDATE. AP’s earlier story follows below. DAMASCUS, Syria (AP) — Syrians poured into streets echoing with celebratory gunfire on Sunday after a stunning rebel advance reached the capital, ending the Assad family's 50 years of iron rule but raising questions about the future of the country and the wider region. Joyful crowds gathered in squares in Damascus, waving the Syrian revolutionary flag in scenes that recalled the early days of the Arab Spring uprising, before a brutal crackdown and the rise of an insurgency plunged the country into a nearly 14-year civil war. Others gleefully ransacked the presidential palace and residence after President Bashar Assad and other top officials vanished, their whereabouts unknown. Russia, a close ally, said Assad left the country after negotiations with rebel groups and had given instructions to transfer power peacefully. Abu Mohammed al-Golani , a former al-Qaida commander who cut ties with the group years ago and says he embraces pluralism and religious tolerance, leads the biggest rebel faction and is poised to chart the country's future. In his first public appearance since fighters entered the Damascus suburbs Saturday, al-Golani visited the sprawling Umayyad Mosque and called Assad's fall “a victory to the Islamic nation.” Calling himself by his given name, Ahmad al-Sharaa, and not his nom de guerre, he told hundreds of people that Assad had made Syria “a farm for Iran’s greed.” The rebels face the daunting task of healing bitter divisions in a country ravaged by war and still split among armed factions. Turkey-backed opposition fighters are battling U.S.-allied Kurdish forces in the north, and the Islamic State group is still active in some remote areas. Syrian state television broadcast a rebel statement early Sunday saying Assad had been overthrown and all prisoners had been released. They called on people to preserve the institutions of “the free Syrian state.” The rebels later announced a curfew in Damascus from 4 p.m. to 5 a.m. The rebels said they freed people held at the notorious Saydnaya prison, where rights groups say thousands were tortured and killed . A video circulating online purported to show rebels breaking open cell doors and freeing dozens of female prisoners, many of whom appeared shocked. At least one small child was seen among them. “This happiness will not be completed until I can see my son out of prison and know where is he,” said one relative, Bassam Masr. "I have been searching for him for two hours. He has been detained for 13 years.” Rebel commander Anas Salkhadi later appeared on state TV and sought to reassure Syria's religious and ethnic minorities, saying: “Syria is for everyone, no exceptions. Syria is for Druze, Sunnis, Alawites, and all sects.” “We will not deal with people the way the Assad family did," he added. Celebrations in the capital Damascus residents prayed in mosques and celebrated in squares, calling, “God is great.” People chanted anti-Assad slogans and honked car horns. Teenage boys picked up weapons apparently discarded by security forces and fired into the air. Revelers filled Umayyad Square, where the Defense Ministry is located. Some waved the three-starred Syrian flag that predates the Assad government and was adopted by the revolutionaries. Elsewhere, many parts of the capital were empty and shops were closed. Soldiers and police left their posts and fled, and looters broke into the Defense Ministry. Videos showed families wandering the presidential palace, some carrying stacks of plates and other household items. “It’s like a dream. I need someone to wake me up," said opposition fighter Abu Laith, adding the rebels were welcomed in Damascus with “love.” At the Justice Ministry, where rebels stood guard, Judge Khitam Haddad said they were protecting documents from the chaos. Outside, some residents sought information about relatives who disappeared under Assad. The rebels “have felt the pain of the people,” said one woman, giving only her first name, Heba. She worried about possible revenge killings by the rebels, many of whom appeared to be underage. Syria’s al-Watan newspaper, which was historically pro-government, wrote: “We are facing a new page for Syria. We thank God for not shedding more blood.” It added that media workers should not be blamed for publishing past government statements, saying it “only carried out the instructions.” A statement from the Alawite sect that has formed the core of Assad's base called on young Syrians to be “calm, rational and prudent and not to be dragged into what tears apart the unity of our country.” The rebels mainly come from the Sunni Muslim majority in Syria, which also has sizable Druze, Christian and Kurdish communities. In Qamishli in the northeast, a Kurdish man slapped a statue of the late leader Hafez Assad with his shoe. Assad's whereabouts are unknown Syrian Prime Minister Mohammed Ghazi Jalali said the government was ready to “extend its hand” to the opposition and turn its functions over to a transitional government. A video shared on Syrian opposition media showed armed men escorting him from his office and to the Four Seasons hotel on Sunday. Rami Abdurrahman of the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights told The Associated Press that Assad, 59, took a flight early Sunday from Damascus. A senior diplomat from the United Arab Emirates, which had sought to rehabilitate Assad's image and has welcomed high-profile exiles in recent years, declined to comment on his whereabouts. Anwar Gargash said Assad's destination at this point is a “footnote in history,” comparing it to the long exile of German Kaiser Wilhelm II after World War I. Calls for an orderly transition The rebel advances since Nov. 27 were the largest in recent years, and saw the cities of Aleppo, Hama and Homs fall within days as the Syrian army melted away. Russia, Iran and Lebanon's Hezbollah militant group, which provided crucial support to Assad throughout the uprising, abandoned him as they reeled from other conflicts. The end of Assad’s rule was a major blow to Iran and its allies, already weakened by conflict with Israel . Iran, which had strongly backed him throughout the civil war, said Syrians should decide their future “without destructive, coercive, foreign intervention.” The Iranian Embassy in Damascus was ransacked after apparently having been abandoned. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu meanwhile said Israeli troops had seized a buffer zone in the Golan Heights established in 1974, saying it was to protect Israeli residents after Syrian troops abandoned positions. Israel's military later warned residents of five southern Syria communities to stay home for their safety, and didn’t respond to questions. Israel captured the Golan in the 1967 Mideast war and later annexed it. The international community, except for the United States, views it as occupied, and the Arab League on Sunday condemned what it called Israel’s efforts to take advantage of Assad’s downfall occupy more territory. The rebels are led by the Hayat Tahrir al-Sham group, or HTS , which has its origins in al-Qaida and is considered a terrorist organization by the United States and the United Nations. Al-Golani, has sought to recast the group as a moderate and tolerant force. “Golani has made history and sparked hope among millions of Syrians," said Dareen Khalifa, a senior adviser with the International Crisis Group. "But he and the rebels now face a formidable challenge ahead.” The U.N.’s special envoy for Syria, Geir Pedersen, called Saturday for urgent talks in Geneva to ensure an “orderly political transition.” The Gulf nation of Qatar, a key regional mediator, hosted an emergency meeting of foreign ministers and top officials from eight countries with interests in Syria late Saturday. They included Iran, Saudi Arabia, Russia and Turkey. Majed al-Ansari, Qatar’s Foreign Ministry spokesman, said they agreed on the need “to engage all parties on the ground," including the HTS, and that the main concern is “stability and safe transition.” ___ Sewell reported from Beirut. Associated Press writers Bassem Mroue, Sarah El Deeb and Kareem Chehayeb in Beirut; Samar Kassaballi, Omar Sanadiki and Ghaith Alsayed in Damascus; Jon Gambrell in Manama, Bahrain; Josef Federman in Doha, Qatar; and Tia Goldenberg in Jerusalem, contributed. Abdulrahman Shaheen And Abby Sewell, The Associated Press

Investors wondering if the presidential election may usher in a bad or good time for the stock market won’t find any easy answers looking at the past. One year after President Joe Biden won the presidency in 2020, the S&P 500 was up more than 42%, according to data provided to CNBC by Morningstar Direct. (Morningstar analyzed the returns in the six and 12 months following Election Day for those 24 U.S. presidential elections.) The index fell around 6% in the 12 months after Jimmy Carter defeated former Republican President Gerald Ford. It dropped a similar amount in the year following Dwight Eisenhower’s second win. Meanwhile, a year after Ronald Reagan was first elected, the S&P 500 was up 0.6%. Twelve months after Reagan’s reelection, the index had swelled around 19%. When you look at how stocks fare after presidential elections, “there’s no obvious and discernible pattern,” said Jude Boudreaux, a certified financial planner who is a partner with The Planning Center in New Orleans. “Election years aren’t that different from a typical year in the stock market,” said Boudreaux, a member of the CNBC FA Council . In other words, the market’s movements are just as unpredictable. As a result, Boudreaux said he isn’t recommending any broad changes for clients based on President-elect Donald Trump ’s win. Dan Kemp, global chief investment officer for Morningstar Investment Management, had similar advice to investors. “When investors face uncertainty, they might seek narratives that predict the future and then change their portfolios accordingly,” Kemp said in a statement. But, he said, “the most important thing an investor can do is stick to their plan.”

Xavier Legette's drop dooms Panthers' late upset push against EaglesMLB Trade Rumors: White Sox Want 'Meaningful Piece' in Return for Luis Robert Jr.How Malaysians are cutting electricity costs with solar energy for long-term savings, sustainability as prices drop and govt incentives grow

NEW YORK (AP) — President-elect Donald Trump’s lawyers formally asked a judge Monday to throw out his hush money criminal conviction, arguing continuing the case would present unconstitutional “disruptions to the institution of the Presidency.“ In a filing made public Tuesday, Trump’s lawyers told Manhattan Judge Juan M. Merchan that dismissal is warranted because of the extraordinary circumstances of his impending return to the White House. “Wrongly continuing proceedings in this failed lawfare case disrupts President Trump’s transition efforts,” the attorneys continued, before citing the “overwhelming national mandate granted to him by the American people on November 5, 2024.” Prosecutors will have until Dec. 9 to respond. They have said they will fight any efforts to dismiss the case but have indicated openness to delaying sentencing until after Trump’s second term ends in 2029. Following Trump’s election victory last month, Merchan halted proceedings and indefinitely postponed his sentencing, previously scheduled for late November, to allow the defense and prosecution to weigh in on the future of the case. He also delayed a decision on Trump’s prior bid to dismiss the case on immunity grounds. Trump has been fighting for months to reverse the conviction, which involved efforts to conceal a $130,000 payment to porn actor Stormy Daniels, whose affair allegations threatened to disrupt his 2016 campaign. He has denied any wrongdoing. Trump takes office Jan. 20. Merchan hasn’t set a timetable for a decision. A dismissal would erase Trump’s historic conviction, sparing him the cloud of a criminal record and possible prison sentence. Trump is the first former president to be convicted of a crime and the first convicted criminal to be elected to the office. Merchan could also decide to uphold the verdict and proceed to sentencing, delay the case until Trump leaves office, wait until a federal appeals court rules on Trump’s parallel effort to get the case moved out of state court or choose some other option.As the record-shattering Eras Tour comes to an end, Taylor Swift is apparently sharing mementos with friends and family, including Kansas City Chiefs heiress Ava Hunt. Hunt, 19, posted an Instagram Story on Monday, December 2, in which she showcased a special gift she received from the "Cruel Summer" singer, 34. Swift, who is in a relationship with Chiefs player Travis Kelce , sent Hunt a care package with a sweet note, which the Southern Methodist University student was happy to share. "Oh hi!" wrote the singer. "As we conclude the wildest, most extraordinary adventure of my LIFE, The Eras Tour, I wanted to share with a few friends my memories from it. The friendship bracelets, the traditions, the backstage secrets, the costumes, The world travels, the rain shows and sunsets." Hunt quickly cut away from the note to reveal the gift, which was a copy of The Official Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour Book . Swift also explained what made her proudest about her tour, which was groundbreaking in both its scope and the money it generating. "What truly made this tour what it became," she wrote, "was the passion, joy, unbridled emotion, and love the fans showed us every night. I hope you'll enjoy this journey through the memories of my proudest moments: The Eras Tour. Love, Taylor." Swift is a frequent guest at Chiefs' games due to her relationship with Kelce, 34. Mecole Hardman's fiancée Chariah Gordon even posted a picture of the "Fearless" songstress holding the couple's baby on Instagram, and she has been spotted hanging out with several other wives and girlfriends of the players. The Swift and Kelce families reportedly spent Thanksgiving together this year, marking an important milestone for the two families. Hunt and Swift appear to have first met in December of 2023, when Hunt posted a photo of the two on Instagram with the caption, "Enchanted to meet you @taylorswift ♥️." Hunt's older sister, Gracie Hunt, also received an Eras Tour book gift, which she posted to her Instagram Story on Monday as well.

Previous: jilibet slot game
Next: 49 jilibet