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NEW YORK (AP) — There's no place like home for the holidays. And that may not necessarily be a good thing. In the wake of the very contentious and divisive 2024 presidential election, the upcoming celebration of Thanksgiving and the ramp-up of the winter holiday season could be a boon for some — a respite from the events of the larger world in the gathering of family and loved ones. Hours and even days spent with people who have played the largest roles in our lives. Another chapter in a lifetime of memories. That's one scenario. For others, that same period — particularly because of the polarizing presidential campaign — is something to dread. There is the likelihood of disagreements, harsh words, hurt feelings and raised voices looming large. Those who make a study of people and their relationships to each other in an increasingly complex 21st-century say there are choices that those with potentially fraught personal situations can make — things to do and things to avoid — that could help them and their families get through this time with a minimum of open conflict and a chance at getting to the point of the holidays in the first place. For those who feel strongly about the election's outcome, and know that the people they would be spending the holiday feel just as strongly in the other direction, take the time to honestly assess if you're ready to spend time together in THIS moment, barely a few weeks after Election Day — and a time when feelings are still running high. The answer might be that you're not, and it might be better to take a temporary break, says Justin Jones-Fosu, author of “I Respectfully Disagree: How to Have Difficult Conversations in a Divided World.” “You have to assess your own readiness,” he says, “Each person is going be very different in this.” He emphasizes that it's not about taking a permanent step back. “Right now is that moment that we’re talking about because it’s still so fresh. Christmas may be different.” Keep focused on why why you decided to go in the first place, Jones-Fosu says. Maybe it’s because there’s a relative there you don’t get to see often, or a loved one is getting up in age, or your kids want to see their cousins. Keeping that reason in mind could help you get through the time. If you decide getting together is the way to go, but you know politics is still a dicey subject, set a goal of making the holiday a politics-free zone and stick with it, says Karl Pillemer, a professor at Cornell University whose work includes research on family estrangement. “Will a political conversation change anyone’s mind?" he says. “If there is no possibility of changing anyone’s mind, then create a demilitarized zone and don’t talk about it.” Let’s be honest. Sometimes, despite best efforts and intentions to keep the holiday gathering politics- and drama-free, there’s someone who’s got something to say and is going to say it. In that case, avoid getting drawn into it, says Tracy Hutchinson, a professor in the graduate clinical mental health counseling program at the College of William & Mary in Virginia. “Not to take the hook is one of the most important things, and it is challenging,” she says. After all, you don’t have to go to every argument you’re invited to. If you risk getting caught up in the moment, consider engaging in what Pillemer calls “forward mapping.” This involves thinking medium and long term rather than just about right now — strategy rather than tactics. Maybe imagine yourself six months from now looking back on the dinner and thinking about the memories you'd want to have. “Think about how you would like to remember this holiday,” he says. “Do you want to remember it with your brother and sister-in-law storming out and going home because you’ve had a two-hour argument?” Things getting intense? Defuse the situation. Walk away. And it doesn't have to be in a huff. Sometimes a calm and collected time out is just what you — and the family — might need. Says Hutchinson: “If they do start to do something like that, you could say, `I’ve got to make this phone call. I’ve got to go to the bathroom. I’m going to take a walk around the block.'"In continuation of Homecoming tradition, each of Lee University’s 11 departments and schools recently presented Alum of the Year awards. Those chosen were recognized for their honors at their department’s breakfast or reception during the school’s Homecoming festivities this fall. For the College of Arts and Sciences, the award winners include: • Camden Morgante, Department of Behavioral and Social Sciences. Morgante graduated from Lee in 2008 with a bachelor of arts degree in psychology and currently works as a licensed clinical psychologist in Knoxville. She recently published a book, “Recovering from Purity Culture,” in which she explores the harmful messages of purity culture within a faith-based context to help promote healing and hope. • Jessica Juarez, Department of Communication Arts. Juarez graduated from Lee in 1994 with a degree in communication studies and minor in theology and was the recipient of the Most Outstanding Communication Student Award. In 2015, she graduated from Texas A&M University School of Law, going on to work for her local district attorney’s office, the Dallas Court-Appointed Special Advocates for children (CASA), and the Texas attorney general’s office. Juarez served as a councilwoman on the Keller, Texas, City Council from 2022 to 2024, advocating for children in the state welfare system, and was named Lee University’s 2023 Distinguished Alumna of the Year last Homecoming. • Chris Cretton, Department of History, Political Science and Humanities. Cretton has taught 7th grade history at Ocoee Middle School since his graduation from Lee in 2006. A Cleveland native, Cretton and his wife, Bonnie, a Lee alumna and the founder and director of the Woodsong Forest School, have significantly invested in the educational opportunities of their community. Before becoming a beloved local educator, he was known as one of the best rafting guides on the Ocoee. • Janet Rahamut, Department of Language and Literature. Rahamut graduated from Lee in 1970 with a bachelor of arts in English, receiving the department award. Post-graduation, she continued her education, going on to earn her master’s, an Ed.S., and her Ph.D., while pastoring alongside her husband. In 1977, the two returned to Cleveland and Rahamut took a position as an English professor at Lee, a position she held for over two decades. She was known for the high standards she expected from her students, but also for her dedication to them inside and outside the classroom. After her death in 2000, Lee created an award in her honor, given each year to a faculty member who exhibits a heart for students, evidenced by frequent interaction and positive involvement with them outside of the classroom. • Brittany Deaton, Department of Mathematical Sciences. Deaton, a 2014 graduate, graduated from Lee with a bachelor of science in mathematics with an emphasis in actuarial science. Following graduation, she went on to complete all 10 required actuarial exams in five years, surpassing the national average rate of completion, and gaining status as a full Fellow. Deaton recently participated in the Financial Modeling World Cup held on ESPN 3. She is married to Brett Deaton, a fellow 2014 Lee alum. • Matthew Workman from the Department of Natural Sciences. Workman has been active in the Cleveland community since his graduation from Lee in 2012 with a bachelor of science in biological sciences, pre-professional emphasis, and winner of the department’s Most Outstanding Student Award. Now a board-certified pediatrician, Workman works at Peerless Pediatrics in Cleveland and continues to invest in the Lee community through his meaningful participation and sponsorship of the Guatemala medical mission Global Perspectives trip, serving as both a participant and mentor for the university and its current students. Others awarded include: • Gary T. Ray from the Helen DeVos College of Education. Ray graduated from Lee in 1981 and went on to complete a master's degree with the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, furthering his education with several educational leadership courses from various universities. He has worked at Lee twice in his career, serving as a faculty member in the education department from 1984 to 1986, before leaving and returning in November 1990 to work as Lee’s director of admissions. In 1998, Ray was promoted to assistant vice president for institutional advancement, and again in 2000, as vice president for enrollment management. Since 2016, he has served as associate vice president for enrollment management at Texas State University in San Marcos, Texas. His wife, Anita, their two children, and their two children-in-law are all Lee alums. • Nate Tucker, School of Business. Tucker graduated from Lee in 1995 with a double major in computer information systems and business administration. He began working at Lee before his graduation and became the university’s director of information technology in 2011, a position he served until his promotion to vice president for IT last month. Besides serving his alma mater for the past 30 years, Tucker has been dedicated to his community, serving as a Cleveland City School Board Member, Junior Achievement of the Ocoee Region board member and member of the Rotary Club of Cleveland. He has also served the Southeast Education User’s Group Board in various capacities, as well as the North Cleveland Church of God Pastors and Church Council. Tucker also holds a master’s degree from UTC. • Mary Beth Wickes, honorary alumna of the School of Music. Wickes, an honorary alumna of Lee’s School of Music, has been an integral employee in the department since 1986. Serving in various capacities, she has been the administrative assistant to the dean, director of accompanying, a teacher, an accompanist, and collaborative pianist for countless Lee events. Wickes is beloved by those she works with who praise her “extraordinary musicianship and her kind, loving, and supportive presence.” She currently serves in the School of Music as a collaborative pianist working with vocal and instrumental faculty and students. • Kelsey Yoder, School of Nursing. Yoder, a 2021 nursing graduate, was passionate about fighting human trafficking and fundraised, while at Lee, to build a home in Thailand for impoverished young girls who are at risk of this fate. Within the last months, five girls have moved into a home in Thailand built by Yoder’s fundraising efforts. They now have a chance for education and a better life thanks to her passion and the action she took as a result. The 2022 Zeno C. Tharpe Award winner, Yoder currently works in Indianapolis, Indiana, as a pediatric nurse at Riley Children's Hospital. • Douglas LeRoy from the School of Theology & Ministry. LeRoy, a 1965 biblical education graduate, was president of the student body, vice president of Upsilon Xi, president of Pioneers for Christ, associate editor of the Vindagua, and a member of Pi Delta Omicron during his time at Lee. Following graduation, LeRoy became an ordained bishop and went on to earn a doctor of ministry from the European Theological Seminary in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Since 1982, he has served Church of God World Missions in various ministries and has served on numerous boards and committees and four terms as a member of the International Executive Council. LeRoy has preached in 125 countries and has authored 24 books. LeRoy is retired from World Missions but continues to serve on the boards of Serving Orphans Worldwide, Volunteers in Medical Missions, Global Pastors Network, and the Church of God Historical Commission. He is married to Wanda Thompson, with whom he shares three children, six grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.
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