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Lea en español For many people, this time of year is all about the shopping. And there's a fair chance many feel less than joyful about the prospect. If fulfilling your lengthy list feels overwhelming, learning what brain science and evolutionary psychology say about shopping and gift-giving might help you understand exactly why you're stressed – and even point you toward a healthier, happier holiday season. Our reactions are encoded into our nervous system, said Dr. Beth Frates, a part-time associate professor in the department of physical medicine and rehabilitation at Harvard Medical School in Boston. "By understanding these brain responses, people can develop strategies to manage stress better, such as setting realistic expectations, focusing on mindfulness and simplifying holiday preparations," said Frates, who also is the immediate past president of the American College of Lifestyle Medicine. The idea of exchanging gifts at this time of year can be traced back to pagan solstice celebrations. But the drive to share with another is as old as humanity itself, said Dr. Diego Guevara Beltran, a postdoctoral fellow in psychology at the University of Arizona in Tucson who studies cooperation and generosity. The science of generosity is more about survival than stocking stuffers, Guevara Beltran said. Sharing food gave early humans an evolutionary advantage. "Generosity is just one of the ways by which we can accumulate resources, be it wealth itself or friendships or work partners or more attractive, more intelligent mates," he said. Sharing with other people, Guevara Beltran said, is "a signal that communicates how much you value them, their welfare, your relationship with them." Research has shown that helping people makes us feel good. Part of that, he said, is because when someone is part of a community, they feel protected. One way this manifests is through the act of giving gifts. But to derive happiness from gift-giving, the giver needs to feel both that it was not an obligation and that it was effective, according to the 2019 World Happiness Report. That means it could be stressful to be in a culture where gift-giving feels mandatory, or if we can't see that a gift helped someone, Guevara Beltran speculated. It also might be stressful if gift-giving becomes a competition to show that you care about somebody more than the others around them. Our brains on shopping Stressful shopping can cause several physiological responses to kick in, Frates said. First is the "fight or flight" reaction that comes with stress. The release of chemicals that increase our heart rate, raise our blood pressure and intensify our breathing evolved to give us bursts of energy to escape danger. Frates said that while holiday stressors are not life-threatening, they can still trigger the stress response. The pressure to stay within budget could create a sense of scarcity, she said. "This taps into an evolutionary response, where the fear of losing resources like money can feel urgent and distressing." The holiday season also involves a lot of choices. "The brain has limited capacity for decision-making, and making multiple decisions can lead to decision fatigue," Frates said. "This fatigue reduces the ability to self-regulate and cope, which can lead to heightened stress responses when confronted with even minor setbacks, like a long line or out-of-stock item." The stress of needing to complete tasks within a limited time can intensify the fight-or-flight response, she said, as the brain interprets the ticking clock as a sense of urgency or threat. Meanwhile, Frates said, holiday shopping can also trigger brain chemicals that affect our feelings. "Dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward, is released when we anticipate something exciting or enjoyable, like finding a great gift or finding a good deal," she said. "This anticipation can feel rewarding even before any actual purchase is made." For some people, this dopamine boost can make shopping a relaxing experience. "It provides a temporary distraction from other stressors and allows them to focus on something positive, creating a 'holiday high,'" Frates said. For some people, that can be problematic. "When shopping becomes a way to chase that next dopamine hit, it can lead to excessive spending or impulsive purchases," she said. "This can become a trap, particularly during the holidays, when deals, sales and gift-giving pressures are everywhere." Understanding how all these processes work can help people recognize why they feel the way they do and adopt strategies to cope, Frates said. Here are some of her suggestions. 1. Start with self-care before shopping Prioritizing self-care means people can be their best selves and make good decisions, Frates said. So, "eat food that is delicious and nutritious. Get seven to nine hours of sleep. Make sure to enjoy physical activity. Take walks when you can and invite friends along. Practice stress reduction like meditation or yoga to help you calm your body and mind." Before going shopping, try taking deep breaths using stress-relieving techniques such as 4-7-8 breathing (inhale through your nose for four counts, hold for seven counts, and exhale through your mouth for eight) or box breathing (inhale through the nose for four counts, hold your breath for four, exhale for four, then hold for four). 2. Be strategic Don't shop when you're hungry, tired, lonely or stressed, Frates said. And don't start shopping 15 minutes before a store closes or a website's online deals end, she said. That's setting yourself up for triggering the fight-or-flight response. 3. Be mindful Before making a purchase, take a moment to consider whether it's truly needed or whether it's an impulsive choice. To avoid overindulging, set a specific budget or limit yourself to a couple of hours or specific shopping days. "This keeps dopamine-driven spending in check while still allowing for the enjoyable aspects of holiday shopping," Frates said. Look for post-shopping activities that provide rewards without the financial cost. That can satisfy your brain's desire for more dopamine in a healthier way. "Plan enjoyable, stress-relieving activities after shopping, like going for a walk, spending time with friends or indulging in a hobby," she said. 4. Bring a friend Not only does this support healthy social connections, Frates said, but if things start feeling stressful, "you have a buddy, and you have a support system right there for you." 5. Rethink the focus of the season "With gift-giving, we need to change mindsets in order to be able to manage the stress," Frates said. The holidays could be used to emphasize social connections, she said. "Thinking about the connection with the person and making gift-giving more about deepening the connection than anything else, I think, will really help to reduce the stress around the process," she said. So instead of scouring shops and websites for the "perfect" gift, think about making a meaningful and personal one, she suggested. It could be a poem, a painting, a song or a framed photograph that captured a special time. 6. Lessons for children It's easy to get caught up in the hunt for a hard-to-get item, Frates said. But ask yourself what the holiday means in your family's traditions. "Is it about getting that perfect gift for the child? Or is it about celebrating the meaning of that holiday?" So instead of having children ask for one specific toy, or a specific brand of clothing, teach them to leave a little leeway on their lists. "It is a good reminder to express to children that this season is about giving and sharing what we can in the best way that we can," she said, "and sometimes the exact gift is not available." Encouraging such an attitude can be a tall order, Frates said, but it's a place to start. "A simple mindset shift could be the difference between a stressful holiday shopping season or a joyful journey to find meaningful gifts for people you care about." American Heart Association News covers heart and brain health. Not all views expressed in this story reflect the official position of the American Heart Association. Copyright is owned or held by the American Heart Association, Inc., and all rights are reserved.With Syrian rebels edging ever-closer to the capital, President Bashar Al-Assad is making a last-ditch attempt to remain in power, including indirect diplomatic overtures to the US and President-elect Donald Trump, according to people with direct knowledge of the situation. Assad is ordering his army to fall back to defend Damascus, essentially ceding much of the country to insurgents, who seized the major cities of Aleppo and Hama in a lightning offensive over the past week. They’re now on the outskirts of Homs, less than 100 miles to the north. As his remaining troops dig in, Syria’s longtime ruler is signaling his willingness to reach a deal that would allow him to hold on to the rump territory his army controls, or guarantee his safe passage into exile if needed, said the people. They spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss secret meetings. Also Read | ‘Not our fight’: Donald Trump says US should avoid military action in Syria One offer Assad made to the US via the United Arab Emirates is for Syria to cut all involvement with Iran-backed militant groups, such as Hezbollah, if Western powers wield influence to stem the fighting, the people said. Another initiative saw Assad dispatch a senior Christian leader to meet Hungarian President Viktor Orban to relay what he sees as an existential threat to Syria’s Christian minority if Islamist rebels prevail, according to other people familiar with the plan. The intention was that Orban, a Trump ally, would convey this danger to the incoming US president, they said. It’s a dramatic turn of events for a dynasty that’s ruled Syria with an iron fist for half a century, crushed peaceful protests in 2011 and clung to power through years of civil war that spurred one of the worst humanitarian crises of modern times. Iranian and Russian military support was crucial to the survival of the 59-year-old president, but both are now distracted and stretched thin by other conflicts. Also Read | Syrian rebels storm Homs, just 20 kms away from capital Damascus | Top updates “Assad is in huge danger — it’s almost like in 2015 when the insurgents were at the gates of Damascus,” said Sergei Markov, a political consultant close to the Kremlin, referring to the year Russia intervened to save him. Western nations were equally surprised, including the US, which had largely relinquished much of its influence in Syria to Iran, Russia and Turkey but has reacted to protect its interests, according to senior officials. Multiple Western officials said it was difficult to see Assad remaining in power. The fall of Homs, Syria’s third-largest city, could cut the highway linking Damascus and the country’s west and Mediterranean coast — the stronghold of the Assads and loyalists from their Alawite sect. The president’s whereabouts are unclear, although he’s believed to be in Damascus or his hometown of Al-Qardaha, close to Russia’s Khmeimim airbase. It’s also possible he’s in the Iranian capital, Tehran, a person familiar with US policy said Saturday. Assad’s office issued a statement condemning “rumors and fake news,” saying the the president remains in the capital. Assad has ordered the bulk of Syria’s remaining army — estimated at between 30,000 to 40,000 fighters — to rush to defend Damascus, according to two people familiar with the matter. An army spokesman said in a TV address on Saturday that it was strengthening its defenses around the city and in southern Syria. The main rebel offensive has been led by Hayat Tahrir Al-Sham, or HTS, a former al-Qaeda affiliate, and various armed groups backed by Turkey. Other fighters have joined in, including army defectors who’d fought the regime and laid down arms in previous ceasefires, said the people. As rebels converge on Damascus from the north and south, Iran had drawn back its presence in Syria, leaving its military advisers concentrated around the capital, according to the people. Some Tehran-backed Iraqi militia have also returned their country after the government ceded the eastern city of Deir Ezzor to US-backed Kurdish fighters, they said. Russian personnel now remain mainly around the capital and at the Khmeimim airbase and Tartous naval base, they said. After a meeting with his Iranian and Turkish counterparts in Doha on Saturday, Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said Moscow is “trying to do everything not to allow terrorists to prevail.” “We don’t want them to follow the fate of Iraqis, Libyans and other nations who were disturbed by the people desiring to keep their domination,” he said. Trump said Saturday a withdrawal from Syria might “be the best thing that can happen” to Russia and that troops shouldn’t get involved in the fighting. Back Channels Russia has launched airstrikes around Homs to try and stall the rebel advance. But with signs the Kremlin’s help may not be enough, Assad is pressing on with back-channel negotiations. A key goal would be retaining control of a portion of the country and addressing Turkey’s demands for a political transition and the potential return of millions of Syrian refugees, a major issue for Ankara. Assad is also proposing a new constitution and talks with the mostly exiled political opposition, according to the people familiar with the outreach. It’s unclear if the efforts will bear fruit. Events on the battlefield have their own momentum, and even countries such as Turkey that have influence over the rebels may not be able to fully control events. “I don’t think any of these outside powers have the leverage over their proxies to change the course of what is happening on the ground,” said Andreas Krieg, director of London-based MENA Analytica Ltd. “At this moment most bets are that the Assad regime may not be able to hold out.” Patriarch Visit It was against that backdrop that Assad sent Syriac Orthodox Patriarch Ignatius Aphrem II to Hungary on Monday to relay his fears. Syria’s Christian community makes up about 10% of the country’s 24 million population. The plan to have Orban relate this message to Trump was described by an aide to the patriarch and another person with knowledge of the encounter. People close to Trump couldn’t immediately comment, but said he had dispatched his in-law and Middle East adviser, Massad Boulos, to the UAE on Saturday to discuss the situation in the region. Assad has pursued similar tactics before. HTS leader Abu Mohammed Al-Jolani and other rebels have in recent days attempted to allay the fears of Christians and Syria’s other minorities that they envision a form of Islamic rule. Assad’s own Alawite community, which has stuck by him since 2011 and paid a heavy price to defend the regime, also appears to sense the end may be near. Nariman, an Alawite woman reached by phone in Damascus on Friday said she, her husband who’s in the security forces and their 23-year-old son were fleeing to their ancestral village near Jableh in western Syria. She said there were many families like hers. Nobody is going to fight for Assad this time, she said, asking not to be identified by her last name for reasons of safety.
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